Ayiti:strength in your tears

Well it finally hit. The tears. The tears of frustration and anger and sadness and brokenness and selfishness. The meal last night had a miscommunication, and the tears broke forth. In the safety of my own apartment, of course. But I have to tell you...today I feel better. Blame it on the beach day that allowed me several uninterrupted hours alone with only Trigger to keep me company.

People have begun to ask me "Sarah, what good did we do today other than hold some kids?"

"Ummm" is the thought in my head. My answer "That's the good we did today." In addition to painting the school where 1300 students attend - now they have bright blue benches to sit on rather than worn rusty benches! Well, they are still a little rusty, but quite brilliant in color!

And I am starting to think it's something more than what we look at it to be. I have held some precious little ones in my arms in the last six days. Kids who live here, kids who live there. Kids whose names I never knew, kids whose names I will never forget. Each one with a look in their eye that drew me to them. Each with five little fingers that reached for mine, then proceeded to twist those weird "Blan" fingers together.

I find myself constantly doubting myself here, doubting the good we do, doubting the work accomplished, and holding back from giving more because I feel worn-down. Today I read this...

Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is it not to share the your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -

when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;

you will cry for help, and He will say:

Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourself on behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always;

He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins

and will raise up the age-old foundations;

you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,

Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

The mouth of the Lord has spoken.

- Isaiah 58:6-12

I have a lot to learn and practice. We all do. And while learning and asking the Lord for direction, I have these precious ones to help me along the way.

Me with (L-R) Loudiana, Loudmina, and Clara (Hope House girls)

Unknown new baby - I believe his name is Alix (Good Samaritan)

Lovelin (Tytoo Gardens)

Paula (Good Samaritan)