Sep 28, 2008

i could walk another road, but i could never make it home without You

Final grade on my most recent test...

76.6% baby.

I will make it through this semester. So I can go to Africa and take care of sick people.

I am reading 1 Peter. It's beautiful. Peter is such an incredible voice - an example of redemption and how it turns around the life of a broken man. Peter who had failed in much, was asked to follow Jesus and ends up denying Him. And Jesus dies, is gone from Peter's life. One of his best friends, gone. Yet He returns and redeems Peter. He leaves the early church in Peter's hands, along with His other followers. And Peter, who has experienced Jesus in such real, raw terms, later writes this...

These [trials] have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
(1 Peter 1:7-9)

Peter knows what it is like to be tested, to see hard times. But through faith in Jesus, he is filled with inexpressible and glorious joy in redemption.

I wish I was more like Peter.

Nashville here I come. 19 days.

Sep 26, 2008

To 75% Test Average

In order to pass my nursing classes I need to have a 75% test average. Even if I come out with a 70% in the class (passing) but have a 74.9% test average, I fail.

My first test of the semester I got a 62.5%. Yikes.

Let's just say, my goal is a 75% tomorrow. Dear Lord, help. (As Faye would encourage me to pray.)

This doesn't necessarily pertain, but it's beautiful.

Those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy...the grasslands of the desert overflow. (Psalm 65:8,12a)

Sep 21, 2008

tearing back the roof

"She said, "Who else knew my name
Before the day that I was born?
Jesus is all I need."

I hope I'm always a bit restless.
But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?

Sep 18, 2008

The saga of feeling like failing

I have some wonderful people in my life. In fact, I have a lot. It's probably one of the things I take for granted too often.

One of those wonderful people is my friend Lucy. We met the end of my freshman year at Jewell and immediately connected over our desire to go to Africa. She went this past summer to Tanzania/Lake Victoria and has some incredible stories. She is one of the most giving (of everything!), honest, and kindest people I know. She is also a year ahead of me in nursing school, so naturally Lucy is my go-to girl when I have questions. She has lent me things countless times, always encourages, and has even taken her break in between classes to come to my work to cheer me up after I found out I got a D- on my test. I get notes in my mailbox with bible verses on them, e-mails of encouragement, and some of the best hugs in the world. People...if you don't know Lucy, I hope you meet her soon.

So I nearly failed a test. In fact, by nursing standards, anything below a 75% is failing. So a D- is way below the 75% mark...and I can't remember ever getting a D- on a test. Or paper. Or assignment. I realized I'm not doing very well in school. In fact, I haven't read for class yet. Any of them. It's my fault for not being proactive and planning ahead. But it's all in the past. I take my D- and move ahead.

So, Lucy was one of the first to hear about my frustration and my doubts about nursing school. And she sent me an e-mail yesterday, and I think the Lord has been using her to teach me a lesson, to remind me that I am broken and empty on my own.

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

(Isaiah 41:9-10)

Thanks Luce, for speaking truth into my life.

Sep 14, 2008


I'm a little sad.

Just Blue

Sometimes days are just sad. Not overwhelmingly so, just blue. Like The Weepies song.

It probably doesn't help that I listen to music that perpetuates my mood.

Current price for a ticket to Washington = $372!!! So much cheaper than the last time I looked, yet still too expensive.

WHOA. $247 to Spokane??? THIS could be a beautiful thing.

I have to take out my nose ring. For good. It shouldn't make me sad, but it does. I won't bore you with the details.

I have homework I should be doing. So I will do that, once I finish eating lunch with my lovely friend Rebecca.

On the bright side - iTunes Genius is genius. Good job Apple on another successful addition. Yet another reason why Apple is better.

I'm feeling restless.

Sep 11, 2008

Things I have enjoyed the last few days...

* My ritual morning coffee from the cafeteria. Not terrible and free!
* Frozen custard from By the Scoop. Love my job.
* My job.
* Piano as a stress reliever.
* Walking around Liberty late at night.
* Sleeping.
* Songs:
* John Mayer's cover of Free Fallin'. Illegal I thought at first, but it's beautiful.
* The Weepies "Old Coyote". What I listened to driving home late in Richland. It's become my new homework song.
* Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets". Why? Why not?
* David Crowder's "The Glory of It All".
All is lost
find him there, find him there
After night
Dawn is there, Dawn is there
After all falls apart
he repairs he repairs

When you taste the goodness and pure love of the Lord, it's probably one of the best feelings you can ever have.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. - Ephesians 5:1-2

Sep 10, 2008

the glory of it all

You should listen to it.

More to follow.

Sep 4, 2008

Tell Me

It's been a long day. Three classes with an hour break among two of them, then working for 6 hours. Walking back in the dark, I was asking the Lord what to do, how to keep from being overwhelmed. How am I supposed to succeed in the midst of this? How do I keep straight the assignments? What happens if I fail?

It doesn't matter in the end. Doesn't mean I don't try. It just means I do what God has given me to do, I do so in zeal, serving Him. I seek to reflect Him in relationships, in making someone their coffee, in mopping the floor at work, in giving a bed bath to an old man who smells, in passing by a new student on campus.

In Bible study on Tuesday night we looked at John 21. Peter's denied his rabbi, his teacher who had told him Peter was important, that he desired Peter to follow him and his ways. Jesus has died. Then he appears on the side of the sea, where Peter has returned to his original trade, and Peter is so driven by his love, his grace, his redemption, he jumps out of the boat and swims to shore. There Jesus feeds him, redeems him, and tells him two things he must do if he loves Jesus.

Take care of my sheep, and follow me.

Unchangeable, unconquerable
Immovable, irremovable
Unwavering, untiring
Unflinching, stubborn love of God

So tell me when this night is over
And the curtain falls
That I will know the truth
When it's the only thing that's standing tall

Sep 3, 2008


I double blog now. I share a community blog with seven dear friends in the state of Washington (one temporarily in Spain). If you ever care to know more, click Honest Abe ROFL in the side bar. I am certain you won't be disappointed.