Sep 18, 2008

The saga of feeling like failing

I have some wonderful people in my life. In fact, I have a lot. It's probably one of the things I take for granted too often.

One of those wonderful people is my friend Lucy. We met the end of my freshman year at Jewell and immediately connected over our desire to go to Africa. She went this past summer to Tanzania/Lake Victoria and has some incredible stories. She is one of the most giving (of everything!), honest, and kindest people I know. She is also a year ahead of me in nursing school, so naturally Lucy is my go-to girl when I have questions. She has lent me things countless times, always encourages, and has even taken her break in between classes to come to my work to cheer me up after I found out I got a D- on my test. I get notes in my mailbox with bible verses on them, e-mails of encouragement, and some of the best hugs in the world. People...if you don't know Lucy, I hope you meet her soon.

So I nearly failed a test. In fact, by nursing standards, anything below a 75% is failing. So a D- is way below the 75% mark...and I can't remember ever getting a D- on a test. Or paper. Or assignment. I realized I'm not doing very well in school. In fact, I haven't read for class yet. Any of them. It's my fault for not being proactive and planning ahead. But it's all in the past. I take my D- and move ahead.

So, Lucy was one of the first to hear about my frustration and my doubts about nursing school. And she sent me an e-mail yesterday, and I think the Lord has been using her to teach me a lesson, to remind me that I am broken and empty on my own.

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

(Isaiah 41:9-10)

Thanks Luce, for speaking truth into my life.