Thanksgiving and beyond

Thank you Rosie for this wonderful gift - better believe it will be one repeat most of the next month!

Random

That last post was a fail. Because - WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?

I really wanted everyone to see metallic furry Uggs.

Oh there you go.

Tonight I cleaned my room. I mean, cleaned it a lot. I listened to some Glee favorites. People, I have the "Glee Goosebumps". They are just SO good...the singers, that is. The plot leaves something to be desired, especially when Finn sings to Quinn about having his baby. I have never cringed so much. I wish I could link the video, but I can't.

So - when I finished cleaning my room, I looked to my spare change jar. I love to collect spare change, because then when the jar full you have $40 to your name. However, tonight I found very little spare change on my floor/pockets as I cleaned. I really must be poorer than I thought.

Sundays are the only day of the week I don't look forward to the next stage of my life. I will miss Redeemer so much.

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest

My desperate need for such a Savior I confess.

Pull these idols out from my heart's embrace,

Rock of Ages I need your grace.

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure,

Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul.

Bind your children with cords of love and grace,

Rock of Ages, we give you praise.

Holiday Cheer?

In spirit of the coming holiday season, I was struck with some blogging thoughts.

If you are carrying a designer handbag, purse, or wallet, I am probably judging you. What is the advantage of carrying a Coach bag over one from T.J. Maxx? What is the purpose of spending exorbitant amounts of money on something to carry gum, some money, a phone, tampons, receipts, gum wrappers, and your $15 lip gloss? LAME.

PEOPLE - THIS IS $400!

And what about these???

I think these are the ugliest things I have seen. METALLIC, fur trimmed Uggs. You too can sport these for $225.

I could go on about designer jeans and $38 headbands. But I will stop.

So until Christmas has past I hope to avoid the mall. Today I set my sights on the homemade presents I am planning - here's hoping I learn to be creative and crafty quickly!

When life takes a turn

Sometimes life takes a turn. Relationships begin, relationships end, your dream unravels, you find a "calling", your mom gets diagnosed with cancer.

And in those moments, you deny, you sit numbly, you cry, you get angry, your errands take you to the grocery store far away because you just can't go into the normal store. You keep yourself busy with the mundane, you don't tell people. You fold the clothes and go for walks and take 10 hours to write 2 and 1/2 pages.

You receive countless e-mails and phone calls. You get text messages and notes and gifts of sour candy and food and even plane tickets. People lend listening ears and hurting hearts and open arms.

Today I had two professors rearrange schedules and plans - all to allow me the opportunity to go home for the coming surgery. It is the second to last week of classes, and I will miss four of the five days. My presentations and tests are moved and flexible.

"You need to be there" they both told me.

Today I had someone ignore whatever plans were made for that week, and I have a ride back to Colorado. I will get to be at the hospital. I will get to annoy the nurses telling them how to do their jobs. I will get to be there.

Let me tell you something about the kingdom of God. I have seen it this week. I have seen the kingdom of God rally around the hurting members of my family. I have seen encouragement and heard their prayers. I have sat in my car and walked down the street and laid in my bed and been reduced to tears by the sheer volume of love. My heart is heavy and hurting, how I wish to be sitting next to my dear, sweet mom on the couch. But in all ways I see the kingdom envelope the hurt and offer comfort.

Thank you friends. Thank you on behalf of the entire family. We are loved, and you bless us each day.

a kind of grace

I think when you begin 4 separate blogs, and then delete each of them in turn, you shouldn't blog. Perhaps you just aren't ready with words to say.

I'm waiting for clarity to come, though for now the numbness will have to suffice.

If, If, If

I get frustrated when I catch myself speaking in "if only"...

If only I could move to Colorado.

If only I could make it through Community.

If only I could make it through spring semester.

If only I could get a graduate nurse job in the ER.

If only I could run every day.

If only I had the money.

If only I pass my boards.

If only I was smarter.

If only I was more dedicated.

If only, if only, if only.

Can you say insecurity??? I mean, people, it is getting absurd. And I think I am beginning to waste my life away. I am returning to that circus monkey mentality that Donald Miller talks about - and it is so unsatisfying.

"So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him." (2 Corinthians 5:9)

If only I could please him, then I may finally get it.

such great heights

You show that you are a letter from Christ delivered to us,

written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God,

not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ our God.

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us,

but our sufficiency is from God,

who has made us competent

to be ministers of a new covenant,

not of the letter but of the Spirit.

For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Since we have such a hope,

we are very bold...

when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.

Now the Lord is the Spirit,

and where the Spirit of the Lord is,

there is freedom.

And we all,

with unveiled face,

beholding the glory of the Lord,

are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.

(2 Corinthians 3:3-6; 12-18)

Words to mull over, to saturate your mind.