Jan 22, 2010

be near me

I would like to think I am an emotionally stable person. I would like to think that I can keep a cool, calm head in all times. I would also like to think I am a kick ass runner, or completely secure in who I am, or that the world is full of good, trustworthy people.

Sometimes the things I think aren't really true.

I mean, I am emotionally stable, MOST of the time. But some days it isn't so easy.

Like the days your gas bill has increased by nearly 50%.

Or the days you find out the impending, very necessary repair on your car could be $500.

Or the days you realize you worked 4 hours in a week...totaling $32 before taxes.

Or the days your credit card bill for Christmas comes.

Other days too.

I talk out my anxieties. I talk out problems. I talk to my parents or my friends (saints, every one of them!), and I talk myself out of a breakdown. But before I calm down I have to talk it through.

So tonight, in spilling all of my fears about running out of money or risking my car breaking down to my dear Momma, I saw things a little clearer.

I have friends who have lost their homes and their friends and their families in a devastating disaster.

Dear people in my life have cancer.

People continue to go to sleep freezing and hungry on the streets tonight.

And I wake up each day and make the conscious decision to trust in Someone much bigger than myself.

I trust that my money will not run out, and that my bank account will increase enough to allow me to pay my bills.

I trust that my car won't break down before I can get the money and the time to fix it.

I trust that everything will fit in, in its proper time.

I trust not a single struggle or trial is wasted.

I trust in a God who is not angry or unjust, but a compassionate, faithful, loving, patient Lord who cares deeply for us.

Blessed be the Lord!
For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.
The Lord is the strength of His people;
He is the saving refuge of His anointed.
(Psalm 28:6-8)


  1. Thank you for sharing these verses. I like Mathew 19:26 and Proverbs 16:3 when I am feeling down.

    Kindest regards,
    Tom Bailey

  2. thanks in particular for the reminder that "not a single struggle or trial is wasted"...I tend to just lament and rail against trials as only symptoms of the brokenness of the world, evidence that nothing is the way it was meant to be since the fall...

    I need faith to trust God and see the ways that he is working good in the midst of it all...I just don't trust him, believe him...or I'm not really paying attention to him...