Oct 24, 2009

Counting down.

There are some things that I really, really, really don't like. I am angry at the moment, so I want to say hate, but I won't. I will not let my emotions rule me, darn it!

Mostly it centers around one thing: America.

No, the western world.

I don't like it when people demand things rather than ask for them.

When people are inconsiderate of each other.

When 14 year olds talk about me to my face.

When people spend more money on worthless crap, on getting whatever is bigger and better at the moment.

When college life means so much that I don't want it to mean. I don't belong here. I can't belong here. All I want to do is leave, get out and leave it behind. I don't think I would give it a second thought if I didn't find the diploma something I sort of needed for the next step in my life.

I feel a lot better now - and I realize most of this has nothing to do with the western world, but something much deeper.

I miss the nights sitting at the Cistern and watching the lights of Port-au-Prince across the water.

I miss Jean Marc playing guitar in Diana's apartment.

I miss learning Creole in the pharmacy, giving people medicine.

I miss walking through villages and meeting new faces every time.

I miss walking through villages and seeing the same faces.

I miss the rain and thunder and lightening.

And walks with Diana.

And playing ball with Trigger.

And the Hope House kids.

And my four-wheeler that never stayed turned on but had to be popped into first while holding down the gas.

And tonight, I miss the rest. The ability to draw away, to be alone, to recharge, to sleep long and hard, and to wake up without any fear of missing an ounce of life, because the sun is just beginning to peak over the mountain behind the house. And where a new day starts with the same cup of coffee.

...even if it does use powdered creamer.

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