May 20, 2008

I don't like leaving

I have a newfound faith in the goodness of humanity. 6 lanes of traffic on Metcalf stopped for a gaggle of geese (with baby geese) to cross the road.

Thank you Metcalf drivers for restoring hope.

-

I just received an e-mail with placements for the trainee program I am doing this summer. I work with high schoolers. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and terror.

I really want to stay and do summer staff here. Because it's safe. I know people here. I have a special place in my heart for the girls house. And the people with whom I shared last summer. I really like the kids I worked with. It would be easy to stay - and probably have a great time being here. I have a wonderful community of friends here. I know the places to go drink coffee and read good books. I know what kind of coffee to drink when I go there and places to find the best bargains. It may have taken the best part of 5 years, but I have a place here.

I'm afraid life will go on without me, and suddenly I will be "placeless" again. I don't want to do this again...not yet.

Still, I am going. I am leaving the comfortable, the friends, the family, but only for a short period. I think it is something that has to be done. This isn't that daring anyways. I will be back. Please, can we hang out before I leave and when I return? You all matter to me a lot.

Being safe is a dangerous thing.

7 comments:

  1. KrystenMay 21, 2008 at 12:12 AM

    there is so much truth in that last line. i think this summer is going to be a turning point in all our lives, we're actually growing up...and that's scary. you're in my prayers this summer, as you frequently are. you are such a blessing to me, and i know you'll be one to those kids. i love you, sarah. and i'm so proud of you.

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  2. megMay 23, 2008 at 1:34 AM

    thank God for His strength when we are weak :) i'll be praying for you this summer! It'll be great to hear stories of how God worked!!!

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  3. JulieMay 23, 2008 at 1:52 PM

    being safe IS dangerous!

    thank you for being uncomfortable.
    I kind of am now too, and I think that's when we learn the most.

    props to you, girl.

    you're great.

    see you monday night!?!

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  4. ErinMay 26, 2008 at 1:39 AM

    "Safety is sooo overrated," says the unemployed girl.

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  5. kateMay 26, 2008 at 3:27 AM

    thank you for your kind words.

    i'm excited for your journey and what you learn... the lord is always so faithful in leading us to new places, taking us out of what we know and then we have to be on our faces begging for some sort of safe place with him... because leaving our favorite coffee shops and our people... sucks. but its so good for our souls and lives. blessings on your summer dear.
    we shall be friends upon your return? :)

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  6. mallory.kierstenMay 27, 2008 at 5:39 PM

    wow... props to Metcalf drivers. i didn't know they had it in them. :)

    i am so proud of you. the summer is going to be great. although, i will miss you dearly. if you have the time, i would love to hang at least once more before you leave.

    love you.

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  7. hootenannieMay 29, 2008 at 9:39 AM

    Fessie, you're going to love your summer. I know it.

    ReplyDelete

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