Mar 27, 2008

today is the first

I made it to and through my first clinical. My only first clinical. I made it on time. I made it through the day without throwing up...though I came close.

I wore white scrubs. A nametag. Used my stethoscope. Read through a confidential chart LEGALLY. Made mistakes. Did stuff right. Looked stupid. And I walked in the door at 6:30 and out at 10:40. I thought I would feel good, feel release.

Instead I was thinking "I have to do this for the rest of college." It was not a pleasant thought.

Sarah, maybe you picked the wrong major. Nay I say.

I picked a major that requires you to learn and master skill. Not my strongest suit. Cue Aida. The caring piece comes with time, as skills become second nature. As fear is replaced by confidence. As timidity is replaced by strength.

Last night I was scared...as I was the entire time I was in the hospital. But I found these words in Isaiah 35:

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come to save you."

Maybe taken out of context. Maybe I am making to much of the fear. But today when I felt tired, worried, nervous, anxious, I prayed for God to strengthen my feeble hands and steady my knees. Then I picked up the breakfast tray and introduced myself.

Sarah Parsons, William Jewell student nurse, ready to faint all over you. Don't trust me with anything sharp...

YET.

18 comments:

  1. WAY TO GO!!! yahoo! I am so happy for you! Your first day down! And a strong one at that! Congrats my friend!

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  2. That's remarkable.
    I GUARANTEE on my first day in a hospital (probably year 2056) I will puke. I'll definitely be praying for you in this new adventure.

    You will have to tell me how it goes. I'm glad you found strength in Isaiah. You too cool.

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  3. I bet you were great! Clinicals get better, although they are always a bit awkward. Nursing is a hard profession, but I am really enjoying the challange and I feel good about the job that I'm doing. Not a lot of people can say that about their jobs. I make dumb mistakes everyday, but it's okay as long as I can laugh about it later (no one has died yet!). Today I experienced my first core and although I wasn't really involved at all, I felt like passing out as I watched. I haven't built up my tolerance to that yet...
    Good luck!

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  4. you are the one with the syringe. the patient should be more scared. think about all the power you have over them! no?

    well, just imagine them in their underwear then. (khool court players tricks). oh wait, you will probably REALLY see some of them in their underwear.

    i am no help. but i still think you will kick ass. i passed out before a dog was even cut open, remember?

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  5. i can say with 100% certainty that you would be a far better nurse than i could ever be.

    just remember not to put any catheters in any ryes. that would be awful in alot of ways.

    nick

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  6. Not only is the heart of this whole thing pure loveliness, but that final sentence (from a writing standpoint) is utter gold! I'm a little jealous at your wordsmithing skills.
    Love.

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  7. It's just like climbing with air under your feet and all around you. Scares the pants off of you, even the night before as you anticipate what you're about to face. But, and it's a BIG BUT, the doing of it reduces the power of the fear of it. Such that today I can look straight down between my legs, with nothing but air beneath me, and manage my fears. It's a miracle. You're a miracle. Love, Dad

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  8. Fessie, your life is JUST LIKE "Grey's Anatomy" now! Live the dream. But do not compromise your morals and ethics like those characters do - it doesn't matter how hot they are, THEY ARE WRONG.

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  9. i am so proud of you!

    your faith is so amazing and so encouraging. i love you soooo much.

    :)

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  10. One of these Weekends I'll have to teach you a few more chords.

    Just no singing will be involved... my confidence is lacking that area.

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  11. 11 comments.
    man... i've got to blog more and make more friends if I want to aspire to your level of greatness in the online world.

    It was a good post though. If you've ever seen my shaky hands then you know I'm more than disqualified for such a position as yours.

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  12. i think that your blogging infrequency is motivated by your desire to rack up an obscene amount of comments. i refuse to contribute.
    nick

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  13. i'm excited to come to you in emergencies.

    and sarah,
    i EXPECT you to stitch me up and give me shots and stuff like that.
    that's what nurse friends do.

    will i see you sunday?
    maybe before?

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  14. You have become a blogging superstar. Look at all of these commenters!

    A Fine Frenzy rocks my argyle socks off. But I probably shouldn't ever think about them because I think that the girl is absolutely enchanting, and then I get a crush on her. Or at least covet.

    You're excited for me every day? This is what I have tomorrow: wake up at 6:30, go to work, twiddle, leave. Maybe go on a walk.

    Actually, in light of my life lately, that day sounds pretty darn good.

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  15. i am working at hillcrest covenant again this summer, and as fate would have it... no tobacco for me. we will undoubtedly have a few smoke free nights this summer.
    that sounded... different than it should have...
    nick

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    i'm so lucky to hang out with you ever.
    and i love love love you.

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