Holla Haiti

So, it's not officially official. I haven't bought my plane ticket (but I know which one I will buy), and I haven't planned much, but the unofficial official phone call came yesterday.

I'M GOING TO HOLLYWOOD...I mean...HAITI.

So they plan is that I leave May 18th and fly back to the States in time for family vacation on July 1st.  That gives me six weeks in a country that I never would have thought would be in my future.

The Lord has been working through these months, opening doors I could not see and providing in ways that I did not expect.  He has provided money to allow my time in Haiti to even be feasible.  And for my last summer in college, I could not ask for a better beginning.

I know so little.  I have heard mostly stern warnings to steer clear of the country, to pick somewhere "better", "cleaner", "safer".  But for someone who makes decisions based on what her gut tells her, this is where I am going.  This is what I want to be.

I am scared out of my mind and nervous.  With the changes going on all around me, this is one more thing to add to the instability of life.  But I have allowed fear to stew and fester in my heart for too long, and I have allowed comfort and stability become what I seek.  

If I have learned anything this semester, it has been to view the brokenness of the world in a new and raw way.  I have watched schizophrenia and poverty and abuse tear apart a person's world.  And when brokenness overwhelmed, the Lord led me to a church service where this was shared:

"Yet even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments." Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. - Joel 2:12-13

So my work is to render my heart, lay down the broken pieces for Him to save, for He is the gracious one.  He has relented over disaster.  And that hope gives me courage to step past the fear.  So holla Haiti, here I come - unofficially official.