there's lavender lotion on my doorknob

I am musing over the idea of "a suitcase heart". What does it mean?

I'll let you know what I come up with.

The Rescue

I encourage you to check into this and sign up to attend! Come with me - I'll be there in KC!

Visit here for more info!

Sarah

Surprise!

Nothing like finding out your 2 page paper is supposed to be 8 pages and three parts rather than one at 7:45 the night before your clinical morning starts around 5 AM.

Here's to productive days and writing 6 pages in two hours.

Off to shower, sleep, and then wake up for coffee with Cari on our way to clinical.

Thoughts on February 10

As a wonderful person told me last night, "The Bachelor is like cocaine."

Potent, strong, addictive, harmful.

Words from Naomi, the most recent girl to be kicked off (she was one of the last 4 - she took the guy home to meet her family this week) were something to the effect of "I don't know what I'm doing. I didn't let my guard down before because I didn't want to get hurt. I let my guard down this time and this is what happens. I don't know where to go from here."

Seriously, the show messes people up. Including the people who watch because suddenly we are ready for picture perfect dates with picture perfect people and suddenly it's normal to make out with 10 girls at the same time? Who said this was reality?

Also, today I was able to watch a paranoid schizophrenic interact with her hallucinations. If this doesn't change your perception on how hopeless the world is without Jesus, I don't know what will. Let's just say I am thanking God for my mental stability but totally at a loss for how to respond to such sadness.

This week I have been struck by the flippancy we use with others' hearts. People hurt other people, and it sucks.

The only thing that gives me hope in this all comes from my most wonderful Bible study, which conveniently happened earlier this evening.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it...But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, not of blood nor of the will of flesh nor of the will of man, but of God...For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

let the sunlight in

If you ever meet Rosi Golan, please tell her that I will sing harmonies for her anytime.

I don't know why people who are single hate Valentine's Day. I myself have never celebrated Valentine's Day with a significant other, but WHY would you hate a day full of candy? However, I tried to make it to the candy aisle today and found my way blocked from all angles. Darn you parents of elementary children needing cards and candy for their classmates. I still got my candy though. Crisis averted.

I really miss the feeling of being happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not back in my I-hate-my-life-and-may-be-borderline-depressed stage. But tonight I sat in a room full of people I don't know very well, and I got to ask people questions and listen to answers, and I really didn't want to leave at all because I was happy where I was. But it's more than just being happy.

Where's the joy in my heart? Where's the zeal for crying out loud? Once upon a time I was THAT girl, the one who was slightly crazy and smiled a lot and couldn't keep a straight face. It all overflowed from a heart that was full of joy. And I know what it feels like to have the joy of the Lord; it's somewhat addictive. In Nehemiah 8 it says that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I want joy to be my strength. HOW THE HECK DO I GET JOY?

Walk by the Spirit, saith the Lord via Paul via Galatians.

I just wish I knew how to do that.*

* I realize there is not a seven step process of walking with the Spirit. Just in case you were wondering.