In Today's Headlines

There is some sobering news in the Montrose Daily Press this past week. However, I found several quotes within articles that I could not help but share with the adoring three readers I have. aMARAcan cheese...where's your blog?

Anyways, here are the highs:

A truck drove through the front doors in the local Wal-Mart. Miraculously, no one was killed. And I am not making this incident a laughing matter...but an example of some Montrose local lingo:

“(The truck) hit three of the beams that holds the roof up and he hit a big (beam),” he said. “... this guy comes in and pulled (the driver) out ... I seen two people jump out of the way — I mean, jump.”

Really? I don't understand what this man was talking about. In response to this article, a lot of prayers and thanks were sent for no one being seriously hurt. However, this remark was especially touching.

Ice T wrote on Jan 6, 2008 2:45 PM:
" The most exciting thing that ever happened in Montrose! Suckers! "


Thanks Ice T. You are so thoughtful.

In other news, Montrose is getting an upscale nightclub called The VIP Room (how unique) in Oxbow Crossing. What a joke of a shopping center. Anyways, here's the scoop.

He said the club will be upscale, intended to bring in an older crowd than some of the other local establishments. There will also be a dress code. "You know, we want to keep out some of the riffraff," Brune said.

Really. Brune also says "there will be an employee posted at both of the club's entrances and that patrons will be carded twice — at the entrance and at the bar. The club will use hand stamps as well as ID-checking machines."

Now, Brune, this older, upscale crowd you are drawing from - HAND STAMPS? What UPSCALE nightclub uses hand stamps? All I can say is good luck VIP Room. We all know how well La Bamba did...

There have also been a series of break-ins in Montrose. Our sleepy town is turning into slums. The latest was at a brickyard. Read on, my intrigued fellows.

Brickyard Manager Tom Rowan said he and a co-worker arrived to work Wednesday morning to discover a large double pane window shattered. “There was glass scattered across the office to the main door. At that point we knew we had a problem,” Rowan said.

Later in the article...

No computers or large tools were taken, Rowan said. However, a “minimal amount” of cash and small items such as pocket knives, which the business sells, were missing.

“I just hope they catch the little varmints,” Rowan said.

Me too, Tom. You set those traps for those varmints.

Finally, they are putting regulations in place for all body art establishments. Some new regulations include getting rid of "reusable" gloves and needles.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?