"I'm amazed by life, and it's amazed by me"

In a roundabout way, I have just spent the last few minutes pondering death.

Perhaps it's being around sick people in the hospital, faced with illness that is slowly choking the life out of them.

Perhaps it's writing my mission statement for a class, knowing that the example shared in class was read at the student's funeral before she made it out of college.

Whatever it's stemming from, it isn't causing fear or anxiety, just quiet assurance.

"Can my God, your wrath forbear
Me the chief of sinners, spare?
It's my only hope, You're my only hope."
Caedmon's Call

Yeah.

It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end
And if I keep on walking on past the crooked bend
I will meet my Maker
I will meet my Friend
It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end
Don Chaffer

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth has passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:1-4

Want to know an odd connection I just made? Go to The Parsons Photography and look at this picture...no wonder we are so enamored with these people. What a pale reflection of what reunion with the Lord will look like.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw3o5FMAHy71q5ScgwmcIi8CgIUadJhJi7tDwq_zKD4WC-_vLVpSVy9Qbk9hVnLrjb8_wJNJqsrm5wTNMSlC0eRFT3KhEfMmxFm4Epvd3SJADhm4rPYpAT-QLAN1dJns8DUZ2UYJkthMKP/s1600/blog8.jpg

i could walk another road, but i could never make it home without You

Final grade on my most recent test...

76.6% baby.

I will make it through this semester. So I can go to Africa and take care of sick people.

I am reading 1 Peter. It's beautiful. Peter is such an incredible voice - an example of redemption and how it turns around the life of a broken man. Peter who had failed in much, was asked to follow Jesus and ends up denying Him. And Jesus dies, is gone from Peter's life. One of his best friends, gone. Yet He returns and redeems Peter. He leaves the early church in Peter's hands, along with His other followers. And Peter, who has experienced Jesus in such real, raw terms, later writes this...

These [trials] have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
(1 Peter 1:7-9)

Peter knows what it is like to be tested, to see hard times. But through faith in Jesus, he is filled with inexpressible and glorious joy in redemption.

I wish I was more like Peter.

Nashville here I come. 19 days.

To 75% Test Average

In order to pass my nursing classes I need to have a 75% test average. Even if I come out with a 70% in the class (passing) but have a 74.9% test average, I fail.

My first test of the semester I got a 62.5%. Yikes.

Let's just say, my goal is a 75% tomorrow. Dear Lord, help. (As Faye would encourage me to pray.)

This doesn't necessarily pertain, but it's beautiful.

Those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy...the grasslands of the desert overflow. (Psalm 65:8,12a)

tearing back the roof

"She said, "Who else knew my name
Before the day that I was born?
Jesus is all I need."
-
I hope I'm always a bit restless.
-
But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?

The saga of feeling like failing

I have some wonderful people in my life. In fact, I have a lot. It's probably one of the things I take for granted too often.

One of those wonderful people is my friend Lucy. We met the end of my freshman year at Jewell and immediately connected over our desire to go to Africa. She went this past summer to Tanzania/Lake Victoria and has some incredible stories. She is one of the most giving (of everything!), honest, and kindest people I know. She is also a year ahead of me in nursing school, so naturally Lucy is my go-to girl when I have questions. She has lent me things countless times, always encourages, and has even taken her break in between classes to come to my work to cheer me up after I found out I got a D- on my test. I get notes in my mailbox with bible verses on them, e-mails of encouragement, and some of the best hugs in the world. People...if you don't know Lucy, I hope you meet her soon.

So I nearly failed a test. In fact, by nursing standards, anything below a 75% is failing. So a D- is way below the 75% mark...and I can't remember ever getting a D- on a test. Or paper. Or assignment. I realized I'm not doing very well in school. In fact, I haven't read for class yet. Any of them. It's my fault for not being proactive and planning ahead. But it's all in the past. I take my D- and move ahead.

So, Lucy was one of the first to hear about my frustration and my doubts about nursing school. And she sent me an e-mail yesterday, and I think the Lord has been using her to teach me a lesson, to remind me that I am broken and empty on my own.

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:9-10)

Thanks Luce, for speaking truth into my life.

R.I.P.

I'm a little sad.

Just Blue

Sometimes days are just sad. Not overwhelmingly so, just blue. Like The Weepies song.

It probably doesn't help that I listen to music that perpetuates my mood.

Current price for a ticket to Washington = $372!!! So much cheaper than the last time I looked, yet still too expensive.

WHOA. $247 to Spokane??? THIS could be a beautiful thing.

I have to take out my nose ring. For good. It shouldn't make me sad, but it does. I won't bore you with the details.

I have homework I should be doing. So I will do that, once I finish eating lunch with my lovely friend Rebecca.

On the bright side - iTunes Genius is genius. Good job Apple on another successful addition. Yet another reason why Apple is better.

I'm feeling restless.